Most books I have read, talks I have heard, conversations I have participated in, have emphasized the transient nature of suffering. We persist because there will be a better day or so I am told.
St. John of the Cross who originated the phrase Dark Night of the Soul portrays this suffering as a dark night rather than a dark life.
At my absolute lowest I listened to Art of Dyin’s Get Thru This (from the Vices and Virtues album) on repeat for hours over days, weeks, perhaps months.
If I can get through this
Select lines from Art of Dyin’s Get Thru This
I can get through that
If you cut me wide open
I can cut you some slack
If you come when I’m leaving I might never be back
I know it’s not easy
It’s a matter of fact
It could be much worse
But the call is close
Tomorrow’s my reason
For today to let go
If I can get through this
I can get through anything
If I can make it through this
I can get through anything
To me this song spoke more truly than the dark night of the soul. Why? Because it did not say that my suffering would cease but that if I could survive this suffering I could survive anything.
As I lay on the floor, as my chest felt as if it would explode, as I wept continuously (as one who could not cry), as I felt the music pulsating through my body, as each moment dragged on forever…each hour was an eternity…each day brought no hope of relief…
Suffering would not end, but if I survived this, I could survive that.
(and I survived, barely)
Photo by Mishal Ibrahim on Unsplash